Hope this makes you
smile...
EVER WONDER where we
are headed...
Why the sun lightens
our hair,
but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put
on mascara
with their mouth
closed?
Why you don't ever see
the headline:
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is
such a long word?
Why Doctors call what
they do "practice"?
Why you have to
click on "Start"
to stop Windows 98?
Why lemon juice is
made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real
lemons?
Why the man who
invests all your money is called a "Broker"?
Why there isn't mouse
flavored cat food?
Who tastes dog food
when it has a
"new & improved"
flavor?
Why Noah didn't swat
those two mosquitoes?
Why they sterilize
the needle for lethal injections?
Why they don't make
the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
Why sheep don't shrink
when it rains?
Why they are called
apartments when
they are all stuck
together?
If con is the
opposite of pro,
is Congress the
opposite of progress?
Why they call the
airport "the terminal"
if flying is so safe?
AND...
In case you need
further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are
some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while
sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the
only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner!
No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter
special?)
On a bar of
Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use
like regular soap".
(And that would be
how???)
On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion:
Defrost".
(But, it's just a
suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu
dessert
(printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside
down".
(Well...duh, a bit
late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer
Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot
after heating".
(And you thought????...)
On packaging for a
K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes
on body".
(But wouldn't this
save me more time?)
On Boot's Children
Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to
reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year
olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause
drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this
because???)
On most brands of
Christmas lights:
"For indoor or
outdoor use only".
(As opposed
to...what?)
On a Japanese food
processor:
"Not to be used for
the other use".
(Now, somebody out
there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts:
"Warning: contains
nuts".
(Talk about a news
flash!)
On an American
Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open
packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe,
uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the
company, I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman
costume:
"Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly".
On a Swedish
chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to
stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of
this happening somewhere?)
Now
that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and
send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in
other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.
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